The 2012 Farewell Bash

Back in 2012 when the end of the world craze was still rampant, I wrote the following. Please imagine yourself sometime back in last year, let's say on a bright sunny day on 20 December 2012...
* No boers have been kissed during the writing of this piece. (we're not like that)

The 2012 Farewell Bash.

ladies and gentlemen, you have been invited to the Biggest Event ever, This Year is your chance to be apart of the Most Exciting Celebration on Earth. This is one Event you just won't miss (unless you die sooner of course) if you're electricity & water supply has been cut off again, don't worry the people at the Municipality and the Councillor *gaan hulle ma's* sien 12uur.
Get ready to be blown away (litteraly). Its Gona be the Hottest thing since global warming, never in the history of mankind has something of such Magnitude taken place on One day.
People of all ages, races, genders and classes (including Bantu speaking people & Vendas) are invited and the best part is Entrance is Free.
Venue: At any place your may find yourself when the clock ticks 12:00.
Date: 21/12/2012.
Dress code: Funeral attire (no one really cares, it's gonabe the last thing on anyones mind anyway) however wear running shoes.
The annoying brats next door who keep throwing crackers in your yard will soon witness the Biggest Explosion ever-then you can have the very last laugh.
Provide your own "cold" beverages (what the heck, if u go, why not with a lil swing in your step)
Fat people are encouraged to stay at home.(when sh$t hits the fan, skinny peeps will need some space to run) Remember to wear your 3D glasses, LG promises that watching the world end in 3D is Spectacular.
Please leave your children and pets in the care of responsible elderly people who will keep them quiet during the entire incident....We mean Event.
Please switched off your lights and electrical appliances before leaving your home. (we wont give a damn, but Eskom will appreciate it)
and lastly bring your anc membership card as there will be a Rapture bus waiting for fully paid up members only, Zuma will be the driver.(Anyone associated with malema are excluded)
(Please Note, Catholic Priests, Mugabe, Jub Jub & Malema are advised to board SA Road link) NASA made available a flight to the Moon in their Shuttle at R20million per ticket, we poor folks can't afford that but at least celebrities like Will Smith, Justin Bieber & Beyonce will now be watching you perform live (don't try & impress them, it won't matter)
You are encouraged to email/sms your Face book account info to :Armegeddon@sh!thitthefan.org or sms to 086 YOUR DOOMED.
All credit card And bank info must be provided, just send a please call to 086 YOUR BROKE and we'll call you back (if you're on cell c, Sorry). Feel free to donate all your precious belongings to our Organisation situated at 45 Rondawel street, Roodepan. Preferably Items such as Nike, Lacosta, Uzzi etc (We don't accept No name or fong Kong) politicians are advised to come and store their BMW's, MERCs, lexus & Bentleys at our lock up garages, please leave the keys.
Now prepare the next few hours accordingly.
*This ad has been made possible by SASSA in Association with the Zuma faction, looking after ur welfare, one tender at a time*